Share time: a sneak peek

In my class, we don't have show and tell. I don't want you to show me anything.

(Please don't shove your ginormous stuffed animal into your backpack to show us at share time. It's only going to smoosh your banana to the bottom and I'm going to have to spend my entire lunch break cleaning up the gunk. Also, if your mom doesn't know you snuck her favorite fragile figurine to school, you might want to, at least let us know before share time. Your allowance will have to pay for it when your friend accidentally steps on your backpack in the cubby area.)

I simply want you to tell us. I enjoy your stories. (If only your parents knew what you tell me. The embarrassment.)

Here's how share time went today:

Me: Okay, Friends. (Yes, I call them 'friends.' Not that I think they're my friends or anything. I just call them that because they're all friends. whatever.) You know the routine. If you have news, say "The news is..." and if you don't say...

Kids: "NO NEWS TODAY!"

Me: Yes, good. Remember you share one piece of news. Only one, please, we don't have that much time. Jessica, you're up first.

Jessica: The news is my sister's birthday is tomorrow.

Taylor: I have two. The first is I have Brownies tonight. The second is my brother gets to meet his baseball coach tonight.

Brian: The news is our oil tank spilled over. And my mom had to call 911!

Egan: The n-

Brian: ANd the fire company came and had to balance the tank on 4 pieces of wood!

Egan: The news i-

Brian: And right now my mom is probably waiting at our house for the men to fix it!!

Egan: The news is my friend is meeting his baseball coach tonight, too.

Madison: The news is my brother is meeting his baseball coach tonight, too! And I also have brownies.

James: The news is my birthday is in 14 days!

Harrison: I have three-

Me: Boys and girls, we only have time for just one share, remember?

Harrison: Okay, well, this morning when I got up? My fish was floating in the tank? And I thought it was dead? And so I called my mom who tried to poke it, but I think that when I go home, it's going to be dead. And so we're going to have to flush it down the toilet. And so, if you ever want to buy a fish, DON'T GO TO PETSMART.

Me: Okay thank you.

Nina: No news today.

Annie: Tomorrow I'm going to a sleep over at Kaylee's house so I have to ride Bus 5 and get off at her bus stop! We're going to play dress up!

Kaylee: Oh man, you stole mine, Annie. No news today.

Sandra: The news is I'm meeting my softball coach tonight.

Jack: I have something in common with Brian. The news is that once, my Aunt's toilet overflowed and flooded the whole bathroom! We had to call a plumber.

Gary: (who was absent yesterday, pauses to think) Did you guys miss me yesterday?

Kids: Yeeeeesssss. (Which sounded more like a groan than an excited answer.)

And there you have it. Share time. Just keep in mind, this is only a 5 minute snapshot. But it represents my entire day quite nicely. Intellectually stimulating, huh?