A Nice Surprise

If you know what's going on in my life, then knowing that I'm a cat lady is nothing new for you.

Meow.

If you don't know me, you must know that I don't have a liking for cats, however I live next door to a lady who does. Each day during supper, she clinks a fork against God knows what and makes a chiming noise that brings all of the cats from the state of PA and NJ to her yard.

Her cats stare at me and give me evil eyes as they sit in and around my yard. And in, on, and under my car. (Okay, I lie. Not in my car, just on it.) Sometimes, at home, I get the feeling that I'm being watched, and sure enough a feline is peeking through my window at me. I didn't ask to be a cat lady. I just can't seem to get away from cats.

If you've read my preface, then I urge you to read on.

Surprise #1:
Yesterday, as I began planting the 50th flower of the season into my garden, I noticed a swarm of flies around me. Although I was sweating, I am naturally a fantastically smelling human being, so I knew that they could not be swarming around me. I stood up to see a dead mouse ripped in two pieces near my foot.

I stood up, looked at my neighbors house, and silently cursed them for having >8 cats.

Surprise #2:
Today, as I was working in the garden (yes, I have become a bit of an obsessive freak about my flowers, if you can believe it) I noticed another swarm of flies near my foot, yet again. As I bent closer to see what was there, a fetid odor hit my nostrils. I came unbelievably close to a neatly swirled brown pile of feces. CAT feces.

I scooped the poop with my shovel and threw it on my neighbors nicely trimmed lawn. As I did so, I cursed the neighbors again.

Surprise #3:

Phone call from the LG (this is not the surprise):

LG: Hey! Guess who just showed up at our door?

Me: Duhhh. A cat!

LG: Close.

Me: Not a cat?

LG: NO. The neighbor.

Me: Wait the ones who feeds all these freaking cats?

LG: Yes.

Me: OMG. What? What did he want?? What did we do?

(secretly thinking they read my mind that morning when I silently spewed a string of fowl words in the direction of their house)

LG: He gave us two boxes of pastries.

Me: WHAT?!! What for?

LG: I don't know.

Me: What did you say?

LG: Thank you SO MUCH.

Me: Wait. What did HE say?

LG: He said "Here is a box of pastries for you. I recommend putting them in the fridge."

Me: Is that it?

LG: Yes.

Me: Did we do something wrong? Is this their way of ap

ologizing?

LG: I have no idea.

Me: Do you think they're poisoned?

LG: Haha. Who knows? I hope not!

Hmmm...a random act of kindness. Maybe it's what I need to get me to stop cursing them out. Maybe they are compassionate people after all. Maybe they just can't help their love for cats.

And maybe I'm the bad guy here...

after all, I am still thinking (as I chew on a yummy cookie) I could keel over with stomach pains at any second.

If blogging does not resume by Sunday, call the police.

:P