The SQUIRTS.

Today, a student of mine, Matt, asked to use the restroom. Once, fine. But ask me twice in 15 minutes, and you're bound to get a frown. Matt did just that.

"AGAIN?"clearly, I'm irritated. Why would anyone want to miss all the fun in my classroom twice in 15 mintues?

"Uhh-huh."

Teacher voice in full effect: "Fine. Make it quick."

2 minutes later, I had to use the restroom. I borrowed a teacher from another room to watch my rascals, and headed down the corridor. (That sounds so much better than hallway, don'tchya think?)

On my way down, I see Matt walking back from the restroom. I give him a teacher look, raised eyebrows and everything that says...What took you so long? Really, I was only being silly, but that's just between you and me.

Matt, thinking I was walking down the corridor to retrieve him from the bathrooms, says without hesitation,

"Sorry I was gone for so long, Miss B. I had the squirts."

Good reason, buddy: the squirts. That's new terminology for me.

Apparently, school was in session today. And my prayers for cancellation were ignored.

But lucky for me, if it wasn't for today, I would have been completely in the dark about 'the squirts.'

And while we're on the topic of bathrooms, check out these public restrooms in China...

Don't forget to wash your hands.

That man is thinking, "Which urinal should I choose? The crocodile or the lady?"

STOP RIGHT THERE. Is that the Virgin Mary? Sacrilegious!

P.S. I have a secret. I googled 'the squirts' just because I was only familiar with the terms diarrhea and 'the runs.' Unbeknownst to me, it's a popular phrase. AND...did you know there was a site called poopreport.com?? Disturbing. And thoroughly disgusting.