The one where I discuss being all hot and sweaty

Have you ever...

-walked up to a jewelry counter and asked to try on a ring?

-tried on the ring, because it's just gorge, even though you realize it's def not your size?

-forced the ring on, thinking it "just may fit?"

-stretched your arm out and admired the ring from a distance?

-attempted to take it off, only to realize that it's stuck?

-attempted to take it off again?

-and again?

-had your ears turn red, face feel hot, beads of sweat form above your lip, and armpit stains develop on your shirt from the realization that the ring just isn't budging and will remain on your hand forever?

-finally yanked it off with the help of the sales lady and some lotion?

Well, this happened to me today.  Except, I was shopping for a dress, not a ring. And I was naked.

Welcome to my life...or should I say FML:

Today I walk into Zara with the hopes of finding a dress for my friend's wedding.  I went in with the desire to purchase a yellow dress.  And the instant I walk into the store, I spot a yellow dress!  Score!  I immediately take two sizes (just in case) and head back to the fitting room.  

I try on my regular size and (SCORE AGAIN!) it's way too big!  So, I try on the smaller size.  On the hanger it looked a little small, but hey, I've been working out!  Anyway, the dress slips on fine and I begin to zipper the side.  I soon discover that the zipper won't budge more than 1/2 way up.  The dress is super pretty and I know that if it fits, Zara def has my mulah.  

So I yank, and I tug, and I pull.  Then I have a brilliant idea! Take off your bra, Julia.  That will give you more room!  I smile at myself in the mirror, and silently thank my parents for my brains.  I follow my own advice and try the zipper again. and again. and again.  Still no budging.  I stare at the zipper in disbelief, pull the top of the dress to my waist and zipper it all the way up.  Score!  Grabbing hold of the dress, I pull it up over my two mountains and begin to adjust when I hear a funny noise- the zipper is tearing and has created a hole in the side of the dress.  Faster than you can say OMG, I grab hold of the zipper and give it a tug to unzip myself from a dress that is obviously too small.  Except the zipper doesn't budge.  Not even a millimeter.  A tiny bead of sweat forms over my upper lip.  I try again. No luck.  Face turns hot, ears are red (you know the routine).  I cannot get it to budge AND I cannot get the dress off.  My two mountains are clearly too large for a dress this tiny. I am officially stuck.  And suddenly, my urge to buy this dress dissipates.

What's a girl to do?

I call the fitting room associate.  She's no help. And stares at me all funny (because I'm naked AND because I pretty much just broke the dress.) I lie and explain that it zipped up fine and the zipper just broke..."I don't even know how it happened,"exclaims an innocent little me.

Embarrassed, I call my dad over.  He's no help. I am stressfully whispering to him, "Dad, just don't look!"

They call the manager.  She's no help and keeps asking, "You still can't get it??"

Finally the manager comes back.  With scissors.  AND CUTS THE DRESS RIGHT OFF OF ME.

And so, in conclusion, the moral of this story is: If you want to try on something that's too small, go ahead and do it. There's always people around that will find a way to get it off of you.